Happy Birthday to Me

Updated: Jul 21

*Blows off dust*



Hey,


Wow! It has been a minute. Coming out of high school I had a clear sense of where I wanted Foreign to go. I was going to build up the blog, start an online store, expand Foreign and use the entrepreneurial resources on campus to build a mega-movement.....then college happened.


To be completely transparent, college has not been a breeze for me. Better yet, it's been difficult. Sometimes I sit and ask myself "Is this really what having the time of my life feels like?" (I hope not). I had many naive expectations of how my undergraduate was experience was going to play out. And yes, if you were guessing, it very much so was influenced by the movies. But also based on how my parents described their college days. I fell into the trap of thinking that once I stepped on the quad I was going to transform into the best version of myself. Young, free, ready to face the world. Yet when reality set in, I wrongly didn't anticipate the moments where I would feel overwhelmed, where I may lose my confidence, question my sense of self, question my abilities to succeed. I definitely didn't anticipate that these moments would be more constant than not.


I am the type of person that often likes to bite off more than I can chew. And arguably it took a global pandemic for me to sit back, relax, and focus on myself. So now I am here, finally able to write again. Finally able to process my thoughts, and I am excited to see where life is going to take me; which, is not something I used to be able to believe. In some sense, I feel like I am experiencing a rebirth. I am lucky to have the time to slow down, and my heart goes to everyone who is going get them through anything they might be facing. I also have a collection of writings that I will be posting regularly under the "Anthology" section. ttack, and it wasn't until later when I called my mom and told her about it that I realized that indeed I was having a panic attack.


I don't want to frame this next part as "how I got through it", because I don't believe that there is a set destination. This will definitely not be the last time that I will write about mental health. It really only was until I even started scarring myself that I finally came to terms with the fact that I couldn't improve on my own. From there, there are three distinct avenues that helped me transform my thinking: God, my mother, and therapy.


It was during my first year at UChicago that I went to therapy for the first time. I am lucky that my school offers counseling services paid for by our Student Life fees. Yet the path to get there wasn't easy. It took some time to be able to schedule an appointment, and more time to finally get paired with a therapist. And at first, it was awful. I oftentimes, left feeling worse than I did when I entered. Why is he looking at me like that, am I a lost cause, I'm must be doing something wrong. After three sessions with my therapist, I was ready to swear off therapy completely - then he recommended I switch to a different form of therapy: group therapy. I was privileged enough to be put in a group specifically designed for women of color and led by an amazing woman. Just the simple act of being able to set time out of my busy schedule each week, to specifically and intentionally dedicate myself to my healing was transformative in itself. It was inspiring to hear stories from so many successful women and form bonds with them. Although I was only in therapy for a quarter (10 weeks), it was truly one of the best decisions I've ever made and I still reap the benefits today. I definitely plan to go more in depth about my experience in a later post.


It was during my first year at UChicago that I went to therapy for the first time. I am lucky that my school offers counseling services paid for by our Student Life fees. Yet the path to get there wasn't easy. It took some time to be able to schedule an appointment, and more time to finally get paired with a therapist. And at first, it was awful. I oftentimes left feeling worse than I did when I entered. h. I am lucky to have the time to slow down, and my heart goes to out everyone who is? After three sessions with my therapist, I was ready to swear off therapy completely - then he recommended I switch to a different form of therapy: group therapy. I was privileged enough to be put in a group specifically designed for women of color and led by an amazing woman. Just the simple act of being able to set time out of my busy schedule each week, to specifically and intentionally dedicate myself to my healing was transformative in itself. It was inspiring to hear stories from so many successful women and form bonds with them. Although I was only in therapy for a quarter (10 weeks), it was truly one of the best decisions I've ever made and I still reap the benefits today. I definitely plan to go more in-depth about my experience in a later post.


It was during my first year at UChicago that I went to therapy for the first time. I am lucky that my school offers counseling services paid for by our Student Life fees. Yet the path to get there wasn't easy. It took some time to be able to schedule an appointment, and more time to finally get paired with a therapist. And at first, it was awful. I oftentimes left feeling worse than I did when I entered. h. I am lucky to have the time to slow down, and my heart goes to out everyone who is ? After three sessions with my therapist, I was ready to swear off therapy completely - then he recommended I switch to a different form of therapy: group therapy. I was privileged enough to be put in a group specifically designed for women of color and led by an amazing woman. Just the simple act of being able to set time out of my busy schedule each week, to specifically and intentionally dedicate myself to my healing was transformative in itself. It was inspringing to hear stories from so many successful women and form bonds with them. Although I was only in therapy for a quarter (10 weeks), it was truly one of the best decisions I've ever made and I still reap the benefits today. I definitely plan to go more in-depth about my experience in a later post.


I still have big dreams for Foreign. I love Foreign. It is something that I always wish will be a part of me. I am excited to see where things go, but for now I am going to satisfy my goal of blogging more. Maybe it's more cathartic for me, but I am hoping to use this space as a space to share all that I have learned throughout my journey and let you all in on my life a bit more. I hope this blog can be a place that my sisters and brothers, can go to when they are my age and find resources to get them through anything they might be facing. I also have a collection of writings that I will be posting regularly under the "Anthology" section.


Thank you so much to everyone who continues to support me. I know it's been some time since you've heard from me in this way, but I thank you for still sticking by me during the ups and downs. The love that I receive from you all is my strength, and I look forward to the day when I can pay it forward.



With Love,

Your Sister Dayo

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